She Stopped Doing What She Was Supposed To Do - And Got The Job She Wanted
In my work doing outplacement coaching, which is working with people who have been laid off from their jobs, I’ve met far too many hardworking, dedicated, and wonderful individuals who went to work every day, were extremely loyal to their organizations, devoted huge swaths of their careers, to these companies, only to find themselves jobless. In a quick instance over a meeting, a simple communication you find you are no longer wanted any longer after all those years of doing what you though you were supposed to do to succeed and live a good life.
So many of them are so close to retirement but can’t just not work anymore.
There’s so many emotions that are processed such as:
“Am I not worthy enough.”
“My identify as a professional with a good job no longer exists.”
One of my clients wrote these exact words in his personal blog:
“In my 20+ years working, I have always been defined by my work – my role and my employer.”
“What do I tell people or potential employers about why I don’t have a job any longer.” - There is so much energy around this even if they’ve been laid off with 6,000 other people and it doesn’t seem personal from the outside, it’s still personal to them. How could it not be? They did what they thought they were supposed to do.
“Where do I even start finding my next thing?”
Most have not thought about a resume, how to interview, or how to network or build a professional community in years, and sometimes a decade or two. There’s one gentleman I’m working with now who hasn’t had to interview or put together a resume since 1999.
What do you do when you are eliminated from payroll like a line on a spreadsheet?
Consider this client’s journey:
She worked in the financial industry, at the same job, for 25 years and was laid off with many of the feelings described above. She just landed the job she really wanted and is excited about, and this is a little bit about how she got there.
She was a loyal employee for so many years, and didn’t really know anything aside from this job she was let go from in terms of how other companies operate, function, and how she can find her way into one of them. Her role ended in August of 2024 and she landed her dream job in March of 2025.
What did she do?
Got curious about what’s out there for her
Explored those curiosities
Listened to herself and got clear about what she wanted to focus on
Had new experiences (consulting & networking)
Leveled herself up with a new certification
Prepared and practiced interviewing
Was really vulnerable about asking questions that came up for her
Journaled or took time at the end of most weeks to connect with what was going well for her, what she liked, what she didn’t like, and what she was learning along the way.
Like many who are senior in their career, she was thinking that maybe doing consulting on her own or for a company was a place she wanted to be. She explored this avenue and took on a short term contract with one of the Big 5 Consulting firms. She didn’t necessarily love it, but what she did realize is how much value she can add to new companies, quickly, along with great skills, experience and insight.
While she took the path of securing another full-time job, she now doesn’t have to question if she should have gone into consulting, she now knows it’s not for her.
She networked! She was so nervous to reach out and ask people for their time. She started with a mock networking session with me, and she then asked me and everyone else she met with if they had other people in their network they could introduce her too. This gave her new perspectives and the confidence to start building a professional community.
Between the consulting job, networking, getting a new certification, taking time to make sure she was checking in with how these new experiences felt for her, brought her joy and excitement, she got closer and closer to what she wanted to do.
She was then able to target and focus on jobs that really interested her, and once she did this, the perfect job appeared and she was a no-brainer to hire because she prepared, she knew her value, she knew she wanted to be there.
When she accepted the job offer, she wrote me this:
“Thank you for your support, talking me through everything, and helping me identify what is important to me. I really appreciate that part - so many times I have done what I am suppose to do. I've heard it from several people over the last several months - just take any position. You've helped me stay the course to find something that I am excited about.”
I was overjoyed to receive this as this is what I want for everyone; to be excited about what they are doing. Not just settle.
In reflection, I asked her what was the aha moment or the motivation to stay true to what she wanted, and here is her recipe:
Her husband noticed how much happier she was once she lost her job without the stress of the last 3 to 5 years looming with regular announcements about layoffs and change.
The year prior to losing her job she did interview for a job she didn’t get, but she really enjoyed the questions they asked her, they seemed to like their jobs, the culture was appealing, and she knew she wanted that.
She tried applying for a role within her old organization after being let go, and after almost 2 months, her resume was rejected. She knew she had to move on. (Many clients are not treated well by their former employers when applying to open job reqs)
One of the companies she was consulting for was trying to grow swiftly without proper oversight, and this didn’t sit well with her. It made her realize how important it was for her to work with a company creating a stable ecosystem with a good culture, and wasn’t putting people’s jobs and well being at stake because they were so focused on growth without doing it well.
During the interview process of the job she took, they earned her trust by spending about half the time learning about her, where she grew up, who she was as a person. It made her feel good and like a place she wanted to be. It wasn’t a barrage of interview questions like she was at a firing squad on the defense. They were forming a relationship with her that she wanted to be part of.
A friend told her she should just take a job. That made her mad. She felt she’s always done what she’s supposed to do over the years. She did that with the consulting job, and knew she didn’t want to with her full time engagement. She felt she had built a foundation for the right long term job, and she did.
Then there’s this last point that has me marveling:
Several women in her personal circle said how lucky she was to ‘start over.’ She’s grateful for the opportunity to reevaluate and figure out what she wants to do with a great support system after having done what she was supposed to do all these years.
I’m so honored to have been on this journey with her. I’ve been reflecting on how many times she has said to me, “I did what I was supposed to do all these years” kinda relating to what my other client saying his identity as an entire person was defined by his work.
I’ve been there, still trying to break free from this myself. It’s really hard when we’ve grown up in a system where secure jobs aren’t secure anymore, and we went through life thinking if we are good, loyal employees that worked hard, we would succeed. Our professional jobs make us a whole person. But at what cost to us?
Let me ask you, how can you be proactive about building or leaning into something that works for you, fills up your purpose, and brings you excitement or joy? Or maybe wealth in your own way?
Why wait until you’re forced to make a transition and start preparing for it now. No time like the present to start connecting with ways you can work and live more true to you.
Want to explore what this looks like to you? Book a free discovery call and I’d love to meet you and see where you’re at.